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FAQS! FACTS! FAX! 243 (21/12/00)
Q
Word 97 is a malignant little **** of a program
that I would like to expunge. Indeed what I would really like is to nuke,
annihilate and dance-upon-the-graves of, the 55-year old, bald-headed,
pony-tailed, pot-bellied, ex-hippy pixies at Microsoft who thought this
particular program was a good idea. I speak of the facility that won’t let
you put numbers to a list of points, without interrupting and
correcting, and taking hold of the page layout, to my fury and
despair, and insisting that the numbers should be the program’s numbers and not mine
own. There is a temporary cure via: Format,
then Bullets and Numbering,
which can remove its work retrospectively, but it’s no good, because the
little maggot keeps popping up again and adding numbers every time I start a
new paragraph.
John Edwards
A
I
sense a certain amount of hostility here, however if the line numbering feature
bothers you, you can always switch it off, along with any other AutoFormat
features that irritate you. On the Insert menu click AutoText, then AutoText
and select the AutoFormat As you Type tab and deselect Automatic Numbered Lists
Q
I have read that certain
makes of printer base warning instructions for replacing ink cartridges on an
estimate of when the ink should have run out and not on the actual consumption.
If true and as the cartridges are expensive how can the consumer avoid such
unnecessary waste?
Roger
Harries
A
Various
strategies are possible, depending on the make and model of printer. Try the
reload procedure, to fool the printer manager program into thinking a new ink
cartridge or tank has been fitted. It’s also worth investigating ink refill
kits, they are available for most types of printer, though be warned it can be
a messy business. Needless to say printer manufacturers are not terribly keen
on the idea but no harm should come of it, provided you stick to good quality
kits sold by the major PC supplies companies.
Q
Please outline steps to delete cookies deposited
when visiting websites using Internet Explorer and Windows 98?
David Vine
A
Cookies are
small text files containing details of web sites you’ve visited and personal
preferences, ostensibly to reduce download times. You can manually delete
visible cookies using Windows Explorer. They are stored in ‘Cookies’ in the
Windows folder. To stop cookies being loaded, in Internet Explorer go to
Internet Options on the Tools menu, select the Security tab and click the
Custom button, scroll down the list and under Cookies check Disable. Windows
also stores a secret list of cookies in a protected filed called Index.dat. For
details of how to remove hidden entries refer to Boot Camp 132, ‘Paranoia’ July
13th 2000
Q
Every
time I open an email in my inbox, I have to click on the
maximise button to get the email to fill my screen. Why does every email open
in a small window? I am using Windows 98 and Outlook Express v5.5.
Robin. P
A
Click on the
envelope icon in the top right hand corner of an open message window; use the
Size or Maximize commands to change the shape and position of the box and your
preferences will be stored for evermore.
Q.
I
have over a thousand colour transparencies and am too lazy to set up the
projector and screen. Is there any way of getting them on to CD and thence
viewable on a PC?
Frank
Russell
A
The
obvious solution is a scanner, either a conventional flatbed model with a slide
or transparency adaptor, or a dedicated slide scanner; prices start at less
than £80. You will also need to install a CD-RW drive on your PC, to copy your
scanned images to disc. The cheapest models now sell for under £100.
Alternatively, many specialist photographic dealers and film processors offer
photo to disc copying services in house, or act as agents for Kodak Photo CD,
though these could prove rather expensive for a thousand images.
Q.
At
random times my cursor will suddenly “lock up” for a few seconds, then just as
suddenly start moving again. If I am typing something when this happens the
words I type while it is locked will appear on the screen when the cursor
re-activates. I have asked several people with more computer savvy then I but
no one can come up with the answer. I have got used to it by now and don’t
swear quite as loudly when it happens, but it is still very annoying.
Tom
Ayshford
A.
This is usually
the work of some behind the scenes activity, such as disc caching, where the PC
makes up for limited memory resources by shuffling information to and from a
‘virtual’ memory on the hard disc. If your PC has 32Mb or less of RAM consider
upgrading to at least 64Mb. In Windows 95/98 make sure you are using optimal
virtual memory settings by right-clicking on My Computer, select Properties
then the Performance tab, click the Virtual Memory button and make sure the
item ‘Let Windows Manage my Virtual Memory Settings’ is checked. An auto save
function in your word processor or another running program is a possibility,
though these are usually set to occur at regular intervals.
POSITIVELY THE L@ST
WORDS…
I really don't see the
point of substituting the four-syllable "epinota" for something
shorter (F!F!F!, December 7). What's wrong with saying "at sign"
anyway? However
perhaps someone can come up with a less aggravating replacement for
the multi-syllabic "double-u double-u double-u dot", so
frequently heard now on radio and TV.
Colin Hague
I
admire and applaud the ingenuity of Immanuel Burton and his friends in constructing the not unpleasing word “epinota” as a name for the “@” sign. But they may not be aware that many linguistic purists would reject it on the
grounds that, as he says, it derives from two different root languages. Another
such “unacceptable” word is “television”!
Mike Joseph
Neat
though ‘epinota’ may be it unfortunately involves the bastard form of combining
a Greek and Latin root. He would do better with ‘episymbolon’. Quentin de la Bedoyere
What’s
all the fuss about? @ is called the ‘at’ symbol. More to the point, what
do you call the key to left of the 1/!
key? Useful as a shortcut for displaying formulae (formulas?) in an
Excel spreadsheet. A colleague has christened it the Blip key but is there a
technical name?
Erica Klim
No, we don’t want any linguistically accurate
alternatives for Television, thank you… At the risk of opening up another can
of worms, I believe that the horizontal line with the bent end ‘¬’ may be
called the ‘Not’ sign whilst the split vertical line ‘ ¦’ is called a ‘Broken
Pipe’, but as usual feel free to disagree…
POETRY CORNER
This came to my attention the other day…
Spelling Chequer
I have a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye cannot sea. When eye strike a quay, right a word
I weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar wright
It shows me strait aweigh.As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two late And eye can put the error rite
Its rarely, rarely grate.I've run this poem threw it
I'm shore your pleased two no Its letter perfect in it's weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
Charles White
Brilliant!
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